Mindfulness is an active part of daily life.
It’s not some lofty ideal or once-a-week meditation session.
Mindfulness is the practice of being present, right here, right now.
I love how teacher and author Jan Chozen Bays puts it:
“Mindfulness is deliberately paying full attention to what is happening around you — in your body, heart, and mind. Mindfulness is awareness without criticism or judgment.”
That part — without criticism or judgment — really lands.
In my perspective, mindfulness is essential. It’s not an add-on; it’s the foundation all of life sits upon.
When that foundation gets shaky, when mindfulness slips out from under us, the balance of our lives shakes too.
Mindfulness is an action, a practice, a way of being.
It’s how we move through the world.
It’s how we meet ourselves, meet others, and meet every experience that crosses our path.
At its most simple form, mindfulness is the art of being connected to the present moment — the only moment that actually exists.
And here’s the beautiful part:
We can practice mindfulness in a million ways.
For me, my morning and evening meditations are two deliberate anchors.
Meditation helps me pause, slow my breath, and shift my attention from future worries back to the here-and-now.
But mindfulness isn’t just meditation.
It’s in my daily gratitudes, in checking in with my senses throughout the day, in the way I slowly sip my coffee or consciously choose my nutrition.
It’s in listening to my body when I exercise, cherishing time with loved ones, and allowing myself to fully sink into rest when the day is done.
And yes — mindfulness belongs in sex too.
What is sexual mindfulness?
Sexual mindfulness is the practice of embodying mindfulness in our sexual spaces — both solo and shared.
It’s about engaging in sexual expression with mindful presence and intention.
This can look like:
Being fully connected to the present moment during partnered sex
Practicing mindful masturbation
Engaging in grounded, ethical sexting
Exploring fantasies or savoring memories with focused attention
Allowing sensual self-touch without agenda
It’s the act of staying here —
Not getting swept into overthinking, anxiety, comparison, or self-judgment.
Sexual mindfulness is about noticing what’s happening during intimacy without labeling it as “good” or “bad.”
It’s the ability to observe, describe, and feel sensations, emotions, and thoughts without spiraling into meaning-making.
For example:
If you fart during sex? You let it be.
If sex is messy? You let it be.
If you don’t orgasm? You let it be.
If you’re feeling hypersexual or undersexual? You let it be.
If you’re feeling anxious? You notice it, gently, and bring your attention back to sensation and pleasure.
Sexual mindfulness is the practice of redirecting —
Bringing yourself back, again and again, to the now.
Why is this powerful?
I love sexual mindfulness because, to me, it’s one of the most profound acts of self-acknowledgment and self-respect.
For those of us raised in conservative backgrounds, religious households, or puritanical cultures (which, let’s be honest, is most of us here in the U.S.), sexual expression has often been buried under layers of shame, fear, or guilt.
It’s no wonder we struggle to feel safe, free, and comfortable in our sexualities.
It’s no wonder we hesitate to give ourselves permission to be sexual beings.
But here’s the truth:
We are sexual beings.
Expressing our sexuality — in aligned, connective, consensual ways — is part of our humanness.
When we embrace that, we start to untangle from the old harmful messages we absorbed from religion, family, media, and culture.
We begin to reclaim self-permission.
We step into sexual care-taking — not from a place of performance, but from a place of self-connection.
Sexual mindfulness is a powerful tool for bridging the gap between where we are now and where we want to be in our sexual expression.
Ready to try it?
Here’s a simple practice you can do today:
✨ Carve out 15 minutes to be alone.
✨ Get naked.
✨ Take a few deep, grounding breaths.
✨ Lay down or sit comfortably.
✨ Slowly begin to touch your body. Run your hands across your skin.
Notice:
What sensations arise?
Is the touch soothing? Exciting? Awkward? Uncomfortable?
Can you name what you’re feeling — without judgment?
If you begin masturbating, beautiful.
If you don’t, beautiful.
If you do, release any pressure to reach orgasm.
The mindset here is:
“If I get off, great. If I don’t, that’s great too.”
When you finish, thank your body.
Thank yourself for gifting this time and space.
And then — simply carry on with your day.
Why this matters
This practice may sound small, but it’s anything but small.
It’s an act of rebellion.
It’s an act of healing.
It’s a declaration:
I refuse to be ruled by shame anymore.
When we normalize this kind of mindful, intentional, no-pressure sexual connection, we send a powerful message to our brains:
Hey. This is okay.
This is human.
This is part of life — just like moving our bodies, meditating, laughing, resting, reading, connecting with loved ones.
Want to go deeper?
If you’re ready to fully release shame and step into your unapologetic sexual power, my SHAMELESS course is here for you.
In SHAMELESS, we go far beyond mindfulness.
We dismantle the old stories.
We burn down the conditioning.
We rebuild your relationship with your body, your desires, your pleasure — on your terms.
⚡ This isn’t just about sex. It’s about who you are.
If you’re ready to stop hiding and start living with full, shameless sexual confidence, I invite you to join me.
👉 Click here to explore Shameless and claim your space.
You are so worthy of this.
You are so ready.
Let’s go.
— Kevin
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